Changing Seasons

The air is becoming slightly cooler lately and I know that fall is just around the corner. I can't wait!!!! It hasn't been the only change that has come to my life. I now have an outside of the home "job!" I have just started my second week and I really love what I'm doing. I work at the post office. Although, it's not a job where I have my degree in or where I have trained to be, it was an open door for me to venture through. For five years I have had my own business. It came at a time where I needed to be home. Many reasons for it. It served its purpose and taught me alot. Working at the post office I do shipping like I did here but OMG there is so much more that the post office does than what I did. So much more to learn. I plan on holding on to the glass business for as long as I can but with such a down economy, time seems to be running out for me. It's okay though. If this door shuts, I know another one will open. I am now partially separated after 29 years of marriage. Not much of a surprise there. It seems that a dispute or an argument always results in the famous words....."I'm done, and moving out." It never happens but it puts alot of stress on me when those words are said. In a way, I look at it like "Crying Wolf!" because after putting me in "panic mode" and wondering how I am going to take care of myself and my two kids still at home, the "other person" is back to normal. It feels like a routine now and I back up and keep my mouth shut so that it doesn't happen again. I guess being stepped on is normal to me and that's not right.
I cannot allow him to keep doing this to me. To keep scaring me and putting me through hell. Maybe in a way this is his plan. To break me. To make me so scared that I change into the person he wants me to be.
It's not going to happen. I am me. I am proud to be me and I won't change for anyone. I don't think anyone has the right to change a person's character.

We'll see what the future holds but working outside of the home is my best defense in trying to pay bills and to hopefully give myself a future. A future where I can take care of myself and the kids without having to rely on anyone else.
I hope in the long run, the race was worth running!